Monday, January 13, 2014

Our first day together



Monday 1-13

The office for Inter-country adoption was filled with parents waiting to meet their children.  Getting off the elevator I immediately heard children crying.  No, not just crying; sobbing. It is so hard to realize that what is the happiest day for these parents is one of the worst for these kids.

And then I see her through the glass wall into the kids’ playroom.  Unlike the younger kids around her, she is not sobbing.  But silent tears fall from her eyes.  It takes all my will to not break down and cry too. Meeting a 4.5 year old is different than a baby.  You can’t just immediately scoop them up in your arms.  Instead we color a bit. This engages her while the facilitator, Grant,  and I talk with her social worker.  I was so happy to receive a book of photos from the past 4 years.  A bag also contained the blanket we had sent her, the disposable camera and some of her favorite toys and snacks.  I got some info on her likes and dislikes.  Bill will be happy to know that she hates heat, but loves ice cream.  Less than half an hour after arriving there, I was leading quietly crying Tong En to the car.  She sat rigidly clutching the seat in front of her as we drove to get her passport photo taken.  About half way there she relaxed a bit, and let me hold her hand.  The government complex for passports was very busy; cars were everywhere.   Grant talks to a policeman and gets permission to park illegally if we are fast.  We wipe tears from her eyes, remove the hat and take a quick, sad looking, passport photo.

On the slow drive back to the hotel she falls asleep against me.  All is peaceful for 30 minutes.  Then she wakes and throws up.  She tells Grant that riding in the car makes her sick. Fortunately we are just minutes from the hotel at this point.  Grant drops me off with the bags and a child covered in vomit.  This is not the first child I’ve had so I can handle this but feel for the first time parent who had a more magical picture of this day.

In our room, she immediately picks up Cleo (thanks, Wyatt) and sits on the bed.  We play some iPad games together and watch her favorite cartoon about 2 bears and a construction worker.  She talks to me quite a bit about it; I smile and laugh as if I understand and find the show funny too.

I eventually decide that I should feed her so we head out together.  I had scoped out the street yesterday and now see a large crowd at the next door Chinese fast food restaurant.  I decide to try it, which is a bit scary since the menu is in Chinese.  I try to point to things up on the board and indicate that I want 2. This was obviously a failure.  I was trying to order a meal for 15 yen, but the cash register was showing 94. I try to explain in gestures what I wanted and feared that I was going to get many of the large whole chicken meals shown at 35 yen each.  The crowd behind me tries to help, but we get no where.  Eventually I just give up and leave.  Had it just been me, I would have gone back to the hotel and ate a granola bar but yet there is this child calmly holding my hand, trusting that I will feed her.  We continue to wander down the street where many vendors are selling food. Most stalls have few options so the chance of me messing up is slim.  Guide books warn that visitors may want to avoid these, but locals enjoy them.  I pick a busy one and get dumplings for Teagen (total cost 3.5 yen, less then $1).  Next door, I get 2 bottles of Coke for me (again, less than $1).  We head back to our hotel where Teagen rejects the chop sticks for a fork and eats a couple of dumplings.  I enjoy some nuts and my first Coke in days.  While it is more expensive, I believe for dinner we’ll try a restaurant in the hotel as it will likely have an English menu.

Teagen took a nap for about 2 hours this afternoon.  Like before lunch we spent the afternoon in the hotel room doing games, iPad and coloring. We also walked to the bank to exchange dollars for RMB.  Dinner at the hotel was not a hit either, as the 2 different noodles I ordered were too spicy (for both of us).  Teagan was able to tell the waitress that she wanted some rice and ended up eating 2 bowls.

Other than this morning, she has been tear -free.  I am amazed by how strong she is and happy that I got to see some genuine laughs and smiles while we played.   Tomorrow we have paperwork and a large “donation” to the orphanage.


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