Teagen

As you’ve likely noticed from the photos, Teagen has a lot of birthmarks.  Wyatt wisely asked me once, “What will we do when people make fun of her?”  That is a hard question as I found out today on a Chinese playground and I don’t have the answers.  I realize that not everything we perceive as teasing is meant to be hurtful.  Children—and often adults—are curious and perhaps afraid of people who are different.

Teagen’s condition is called giant congenital nevi.  This term can have a range of severity.  In Teagen’s case, the marks visible on her face are small compared to those on the rest of her body.  A single large black mark covers her neck, shoulders and most of her back and chest.  Her legs also have nevi ranging from the size of a “normal” mole to the size of her fist.  As is common in nevi, most of hers are hairy.

Teagen is healthy, smart and funny.  Medically, there is nothing “wrong” with her.  I hesitate to say the nevi are purely cosmetic as that downplays the impact they will likely have on her life.  I know that when people meet her, this will be the first thing that they notice.  After spending the last week with her, I also know that her personality will overshadow this.  Her nevi will become invisible to those who love her.

I am asking you to talk to your children about this.  If they are old enough, let them read this blog.  If not, just show them pictures and be open about her birthmarks.  In whatever way possible, remind them that different doesn’t mean wrong or scary or less worthy.

This has been on the forefront of our minds for months.  Today seems fitting to have a direct conversation about it.  As Martin Luther King Jr urged, please judge my daughter by her heart, not her skin.