Winter Coat Weather?

Tuesday January 21, 2014

Today was not very exciting.  None of us had really researched places to see in Guangzhou so we relied on our agency representative to plan outings.  Today she suggested the zoo, primarily because she thought the kids would like it.  The zoo did have quite a few animals, but the layout was poor and we felt sorry for their small living quarters.  It was also “cold” today.  By this I mean 18 degrees Celsius.  That is a mere 64 degrees Fahrenheit so the kids all wore their winter coats. 

The biggest challenge of the day was with the kids.  The other little girl wasn’t listening well and her mom was feeling frustrated at the input of the guide.  I think she was also upset that Teagen was encouraging her to run, climb or want to be held.  The mom’s stress kind of impacted all of us.  At the end, she decided that her daughter had to be in the stroller and couldn’t hold Teagen’s hand, which had them both screaming and crying.  We are going to try an outing with them again tomorrow, as neither one of us wants to be stuck in a hotel room all day.  We will share a van to a temple and museum but perhaps will split up there if necessary.

During the afternoon Teagen and I walked off the island to a mall where the fountain is choreographed to music.  This was pretty neat—but everything else was just a mall, with many of the same stores you would find back home.  We also took our regular walk on the island to the playground. 

We tried dinner out at a café near the Pearl River.  We had an outdoor table and listened to 1980’s American soft rock.  As usual, Teagen was more interested in playing than eating.  While I did enjoy my noodles, Teagen was happier with the ice cream I bought her at the 7-11 across the street from our hotel.   I also got a 600ml bottle of Pearl River Beer there for 6RNB---which was $1 well spent.

Teagen

As you’ve likely noticed from the photos, Teagen has a lot of birthmarks.  Wyatt wisely asked me once, “What will we do when people make fun of her?”  That is a hard question as I found out today on a Chinese playground and I don’t have the answers.  I realize that not everything we perceive as teasing is meant to be hurtful.  Children—and often adults—are curious and perhaps afraid of people who are different.

Teagen’s condition is called giant congenital nevi.  This term can have a range of severity.  In Teagen’s case, the marks visible on her face are small compared to those on the rest of her body.  A single large black mark covers her neck, shoulders and most of her back and chest.  Her legs also have nevi ranging from the size of a “normal” mole to the size of her fist.  As is common in nevi, most of hers are hairy.

Teagen is healthy, smart and funny.  Medically, there is nothing “wrong” with her.  I hesitate to say the nevi are purely cosmetic as that downplays the impact they will likely have on her life.  I know that when people meet her, this will be the first thing that they notice.  After spending the last week with her, I also know that her personality will overshadow this.  Her nevi will become invisible to those who love her.

I am asking you to talk to your children about this.  If they are old enough, let them read this blog.  If not, just show them pictures and be open about her birthmarks.  In whatever way possible, remind them that different doesn’t mean wrong or scary or less worthy.

This has been on the forefront of our minds for months.  Today seems fitting to have a direct conversation about it.  As Martin Luther King Jr urged, please judge my daughter by her heart, not her skin.

Real China

Monday 1-20

In our guide’s words, today we saw “real China”.  She took us on a walking tour of some of the market streets that the locals shops.  There were multiple blocks of nothing other than bulk Chinese herbal medicine ingredients.  This included scorpions, which apparently can be boiled to make a curing tea.  Another street was filled with pet supplies—and cages of cats or birds, and bins of fish and turtles.

We visited the most popular shopping area, which had modern supplies such as clothing.  There is also an entire mall selling jewelry, particularly pearls.   The other families bought some pearl necklaces.  

Then we did the thing that makes me cringe when I read it on adoption blogs: we ate at McDonald’s.  I used to think it was wrong to avoid the Chinese culture, but have now honestly found that McDonald’s and western food is very common here.  The kids had all previously eaten at McDonald’s and were very excited to get French fries.  Teagen typically doesn’t eat much meat, but she told the guide that she wanted chicken nuggets.  She ate them all, plus an ice cream cone and half my Coke.  This is the most I’ve seen her eat other than ramen noodles.

We’ve been told to stay at the hotel for a few hours this afternoon in case any of the kids need to have a chest x-ray.  Hopefully the blood work they performed on Saturday comes back all clear, as I don’t think a return visit will go over well with Teagen.